Adventures of the Snot Rocket

Wednesday was the maiden voyage of the "Snot Rocket", (for those of you who have not been following by blog, that means you, the "Snot Rocket" is my Single Speed 29r MTB. Built from new cheap parts, hand-me-downs,  duct tape and puppy tears). 

There are still a few bugs to fix for the position and some adjustment to the front break, but other than those items she has performed well her first time out of the stable. She lived up to the "Snot Rocket" name producing large quantities of the sticky stuff throughout my ride... although the rain and temperature drop probably help a bit!

I did 3 hrs mostly on the double tack and then through Crabtree. The rain started so I B-lined to the gate so they didn't lock me in...geeeeze a little water on the trail and everyone starts to panic...these are mountain bikes folks, they like to get dirty! So lube up the chain and jump in the mud, come on!!

But I digress, sorry about that! 

Overall the ride went well...let's put a check in the success column. I do think playing around with the gearing for the Raleigh are is in order. But I'll give it some time on the trails before making the change. Seems like I can go with an 18t in the rear and still get by around here. But if we head to the high ground for some rides I'll have to slap the 20t back on there...I'm new at this SS stuff ya know!!

Going to camp...Tri-Camp that is!!

This weekend I had the most awesome opportunity to join some great coaches and athletes for a 4 day EPIC triathlon camp. The camp was held in Wilkesboro, NC on Kerr Scott reservoir. This was a great venue for a camp of this type. We occupied a lodge that was right up hill from the dock we would open water swim from. After the 2nd day this hill would become an ass-kicker. Talk of how we could slide down in the row boat...but getting back up was problematic. Or maybe driving down the hill...but that would not be EPIC!! By next year maybe they might have a ski lift installed....uhm..NO!

So day one was mostly orientation although there were a few of us crazies who went for swim just to loosen up from the long drive. The water was perfect temp for a wetsuit. (since I pride myself on being a mediocre swimmer I love the wetsuit)

Day two was an early morning open water swim of about 3 miles. This was followed by consuming mass quantities of food in preparation for the next training session. We packed up the bikes and running gear and headed down the road to the start of the Bandits Challenge race. We went out on the 28 mile bike course which is a pretty tough route. There were some who opted to go out for a 2nd loop but I hit the trail for a run instead. (I was saving my legs a little for the next day's ride. This would turn out to be the right choice for me!!)

After the jam packed day of training we headed back to the lodge for some more consumption of mass calories. We really needed to pack them in to recover from the workouts and be ready to hit it again in the morning!

Day three we had another open water swim of 1.5 or 3 miles...athletes choice on this one! (I opted out of the swim since my shoulder was a little sore and I didn't want to piss it off any more than I had to.) After the swim we packed up the bike gear and headed over to Boone for some riding on the Blood Sweat and Gears bike course. We would be doing an out and back on this one so whatever we road out we knew we had to ride back. (Sometimes that sucks...I mean ignorance is bliss when it comes to mountain climbing right?) We split into "A" and "B" groups to start but that naturally splintered off into "C", "D", "E" and so on. I hung onto the "A" group until I had a flat. Some of the group stopped and waited for me to re-tube and hit it again. so we were now the "A2" group. (no one likes to fall back to the "B" group so "A2" was the new name!!) We ended up doing 92 miles and 8,000 ft of climbing. By my watch I had 4:45 of ride time..(and that included the time to change the flat...NOT BAD...)

After the ride we headed back to the lodge for yet another calorie consumptionfest. We packed back some food man. I loaded a plate with a steak, (that was awesome), salad, corn, bread & butter...and whoofed it down. 30 min later I was hungry again and packing back some of the homemade cookies. (they didn't last long)

Day four we headed out for a long run. My legs were feeling pretty tired after the ride the day before so I figured I would take it easy. This plan worked well until I turned around and was feeling pretty good so just started to hammer back. I payed for this afterwards but doing 11 miles in 1:20 was a great feeling and worth the two days of leg aches I had after. We headed back to the water for a little cool down swim. A nice easy 2K was all I needed and wanted after the amount of training that was packed into these four days.

I split by noon to head back to life but sure wish I could just eat sleep and train like the pros. Can't wait until next year to do it all again!

So What's Up Doc?

Today was the day of my VO2 Max and Lactate threshold bike test! I studied hard all week but I was still a little nervous... "Will I be a fitness failure or would I pass with flying colors?" For those of you who don't know what a VO2 Max and lactate threshold test is check out the Human Performance Lab site and see the real scientific information.

I got to the lab early, (I'm very punctual),  and bring in my bike and gear...get changed and hang around and stretch for the big event! Once we get the bike on the computrainer and hook up all of the data collecting gizmos, I mount and start my warming up. We strap on the heart rate monitor, and check that everything is reading correctly. "Roger Houston, I read you loud and clear".  With a few minutes until the test start I get to don a mask that will measure my oxygen usage. This also allows me to brush up on my imitation of Lord Vador..."Luke I am Your Father"...always gets a chuckle!

So we're off...now I ride in 3 min intervals. After every 3 minutes they test my blood for the level of lactate, (A chemical that is formed when sugars are broken down for energy in the absence of adequate oxygen...not breast milk...ugh, I should have studied that chapter!) They do this by pricking my earlobe and squeezing out a drop of blood. Also, after each 3 min interval the difficulty increases for the next 3 min interval. Oh yeah feel the burn baby! This continues until you're no longer able to push the pedals or you pass out, whichever comes first. (don't worry, you'll most likely stop pedaling before you pass out, really!)

After this 20 min pain-fest you get to spin for a few more minutes to cool down and see how long it takes for your heart rate to return to it's before test level...this is one indicator of your fitness. (the longer it takes to return to normal the more they make you ride...just kidding, this means you have lots and lots of room for improvement) As the songs says..."always look on the bright side of life, 'whistle, whistle, whistle...now everyone sing along...!!

So now you wait for the results to be compiled, charted and graphed for you to take home and study. (So on the next test you can do better, you know...look up the answers you got wrong and all....) Now you have a handful of data that's priceless.

Info you will take away from YOUR test:

Your height (so you know what size pants to buy)

Your weight (whether you like it or not ladies)

Your percentage of body fat (again, sorry ladies)

Your Max heart rate (so you know when you will explode)

Your Lactate Threshold (this is when your legs hurt really, really bad)

VO2 Max (when your lungs stop working and you can no longer breath)

Percentage of VO2 Max (how much of your lungs you are really using)

Calories you burn per minute while working out (so you can calculate how many Krispy Kreme doughnuts you can shovel in afterwards)

Aerobic training zone (so you know how slow you can train)

Threshold training zone (so you know how fast you can train)

Max wattage output (that's just a cool number to know)

I'm figuring I can do about 2 hours of (VO2 max, divided by 3, (carry the 1), times my max watts), and then recover with a box of Ho Hos and latte...I love these results!

Dropped Rider Protocol

During today's ride, which was going quite well, a situation arose calling into question, "What to do when one of the members of your pack gets dropped?"

First let's get one thing straight, the rider was not me...really!

There are several different scenarios for being dropped. For instance, if you and your buddies actually pick up said rider and drop Them. This usually never happens unless you are accompanied by someone you don't know very well and they are pissing you off.

But if you find yourself in this situation you should:

• Make sure he, (or she), is not hurt too badly and then quickly mount up and leave the scene!

• Then make sure the last person in line drags a leafy branch behind them to cover your tracks and insure you are not followed by the above dropped rider!

• Then make sure to tell the next person you see coming the other way that a crazy person on a bike is follow you.

Another way of being dropped is if most of the pack is feeling really strong and things are clicking like a set of those wind up teeth, one of the riders may just fall off the back!

In this case you should:

• Wait until they are totally out of sight but you can still barely hear their feeble gasps for air.

• Then stop at the top of the next available climb and quickly grab your gel, bar, or bottle of nutrition and start fueling up like you have been just chilling there for 5 min or so. (they really like when you do that)

• Then right when they catch up, stow your nutrition and start hitting it again. (they rally like that too)

Another situation would be if everyone is feeling good, everyone knows the trails, but somehow one rider gets slightly separated before a trail choice and incorrectly chooses.

If you find yourself in this predicament:

• You should stop and wait for them to realize their mistake and catch back up. (the amount of time you wait depend on how good a friend the dropped rider is...this varies of course)

• If they do not regroup after what you have deemed a comfortable period of time, you should head to the trail exit and wait for said rider

• If they don't appear after 10 mins, head to the next discussed trail head

• If they don't show up at that location in 10 mins., head back to the last trail exit and begin yelling the person's name in 2 min intervals. (Yell really LOUD)

• If still no luck, begin calling their phone numbers...yes all of them!

• If no answer, leave a voicemail message on all phones.

• If there is no call back in 5 mins. begin calling each number every 2 mins. (they love looking at their phone and seeing that they are so popular, "Wow I have 47 missed calls")

• If by now you have still not made contact you should just head home. (No reason to hang around and be questioned by the police if something bad has happened. I mean your the number one suspect after all! Don't you watch CSI?)

Since these situations do actually happen, I'm proposing that all mountain bike riders be implanted with a GPS chip and have their chip registered with my new company "BIG BROTHER" For a mere $5 per month, (Sign up for annual membership and pay only $50 for the entire year! That's a $10 savings!), and Big Brother will keep tabs on your riders for you.

Once you are implanted and registered all you have to do is ride. Leave the worrying to us. If you are out in the woods and become separated, or one of your pack is lost, just call our toll free number and we will locate your missing rider for you. easy as that! So make sure to get your implant as soon as possible. You never know when you might need a Big Brother!

If you're still a little squeamish about having a Big Brother chip implanted, at least be safe and carry some emergency flares. (You can buy your own set of emergency flares from, you guessed it, BIG BROTHER! A 2 pack only cost $19.95 and are sold in a variety of colors) If you get separated, just stay where you are and set off one flare. Wait 15 mins and if still no contact has been established set off the other one. This should do the trick since you most likely will have started a forest fire by now and there are a lot of people on their way to your location.

Sit tight help is on the way!!

Being Handled

Well yesterday started off being pretty uneventful. Went to the pool and did my time with the floaties, and kick boards and fins and all that. (since I've been focusing more on mountain biking instead of triathlons the swims have decreased, making it feel like I don't know how to swim every time I get back in the water) So all that was just dandy. Now I smell like chlorine all day! Head back home to sit in front of the bane of my existence, you guess it the computer. So after about 4 or 5 hrs....(who can ever remember how long they sit there when you're getting radiated, or micro-waved or whatever from that screen)...I go and do my strength workout! No big deal with that. I just head upstairs to the famed workout room. (Although it does have so many other uses...so many more that time will not allow me to address them all at this time) 

But anyway, that goes off without a hitch! Have the afternoon caffeine blast and snack then back in front of the life-suck machine for a few more hours of work! With dinner hour approaching we decide on home made pizza. Pizza is the best and you all know it. Pile whatever you like on a slab of dough and the whole meal is right at your finger tips. ( Just watch that first bite of scorching hot cheese that inevitably will stick to your lip or face or something making you remember that pizza for the next few days...I've done it! Come on, so have you!)

Where was I, oh yeah...so with the pizza in the oven and Sara, (my wife), on her way back from the store with some groceries and the much needed brew, I was already thinking of the hot shower and the cold beer that would follow. But unfortunately that was not in the cards for little old me tonight. With mere seconds on the timer to alert me that the wonderful gooey goodness that WAS my dinner could be extracted from the oven, I bent down to pull something out of a cabinet...and that something just so happened to be attached to the drawer above it...(Hummmm see where this is going). Being so good at "being in the right place at the right time"...and with all of this genetically gifted athletic ability, (that's a joke folks), I happened to position my face right in front of that drawer.

Now I'm watching the slideshow in my head of the wonderful things that could have been, hot shower, clean shave, cold beer,  hot yummy home made pizza, relaxation on the couch, all go up in smoke standing there with a split bleeding lip! After a quick peek in the mirror I know it needs a stitch or two. "Now why couldn't this have happened at 6 or 7, instead of 8 PM?" Now the slide show has changes from things that could have been to what I know to expect at the emergency room of any hospital, on any day, at any time. The long wait with all the other misfits, wing nuts, and accident prone noodle heads like myself. Oh what fun this will be! 

(If you ever have some free time on your hands and you want to do some people watching, this a great place to get a laugh)

Well 3 hrs later I emerge hungry, thirsty, tired and with two brandy new stitches in my upper lip. At least they used black thread to blend it with my already 3 day old growth. Looks like I'll be sporting a goatie for a week or so until I can pull these out...ehm "I mean so that my doctor can pull them out"...wink, wink!

I would have felt much better having a story about getting some "sweet air over some epic log pile" and "endoing into a pile of cinder blocks" to answer all of those, "what happened to you lip questions", but the truth is pretty funny!!

PS. After careful consideration, (and since this was a blatant and obviously unprovoked attack on my person), I have decided to remove all of the drawers from my kitchen cabinets and have them replace with better behaved ones. I know the cabinet doors were involved in the planing of this attack but since we have no solid evidence of this, we are unable to hold them responsible as well. So luckily for them, they get to hang around just a little longer!!

Rollin on Super G

Today was the first bike since PMBAR and it felt great. I saddled up "Super G" and headed out from my digs over to Umstead to string together 3 hours of mixed riding. It ended up taking about 45 mins of road riding, (well sort of sidewalk/road riding), to get over to the Ebenezer Rd entrance to the park's double track. I cruised over to the Crabtree side of the park and did a fast loop of the 265 trail, (or is it 285...I can never get that one right), and was out of the woods in another 45 mins. So I was feeling really good and headed home to finish the ride in just under 3 hrs. So I called that a done deal.

Also, I finally order a front wheel for my SS 29r, (aka "The Snot Rocket"), so I can get that build finished and roll some trail time on that thing! I can't wait to use the SS for some quality training rides. I think I'll take that to Cowbell and see how she does for a lap or two...shit it might feel so good I just keep her saddled up for the whole enchilada!!

Back in the Saddle

So getting away from it all is always good to do every once in a while, it's getting back into the mix of the everyday that's the hard part!

Now that I'm back in good old Raleigh I find that I'm trying to clear the accumulated work crap off my plate so I can get back to riding! The whole time I was on vacation I was thinking of riding and the races I've done and yet to finish!

But, back to work so I can check on the stable and prep the stallions for some riding this week!!